Fair Cadora Family Law Image Request A Consultation

San Diego’s Most Trusted Divorce and Family Law Firm

You Need to Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce – Here’s How

Your decision to divorce your spouse – or perhaps your spouse’s decision to file, or your shared decision – certainly took some time to reach. When it comes to telling your children about your divorce, give them just as much time to understand it and come to terms with it all. This means you are going to need to have a plan about what to do and what not say if you want things to go as smoothly as possible.

Here are some easy-to-remember tips all divorcing parents should know:

  1. United front: If you and your spouse are not in a heated battle and can actually sit down with one another for rational conversations about your divorce, take that cooperation and use it to your children’s advantage by speaking to them about it together. Showing that you are still a team even as your marriage ends can help them anticipate a stable future.

  2. Time to talk: Use an open part of your schedules to talk about divorce the first time, and choose a quiet environment where there are no distractions. Many parents choose Saturday morning since the whole weekend is ahead to address immediate questions and concerns. Don’t worry about “spoiling the weekend” and worry instead about getting that initial conversation completed.

  3. Encourage follow-ups: If you think that one conversation is going to be enough to fully address the confusion a divorce will stir in your children, you are more than likely wrong. Make it clear that you and your spouse expect and will appreciate more questions as the days go by. Do your part, too, by checking in at least once a week to make certain your kids are being open with their emotions and concerns.

  4. Keep it simple: Your children do not need to know every last detail of why you are choosing to divorce. In some situations, the less they know, the better. It is acceptable to cherry pick the most important information and keep other bits back, such as incidents of infidelity. Also keep in mind the age and maturity of your children, as younger kids will not be able to comprehend complex marital matters.

  5. Plan well ahead: You will need to create plans and agreements with your spouse to finalize your divorce that cover a wide variety of matters. If you can, focus first on child custody, child support, and relocation so you can overcome the biggest obstacles your kids will face. Letting them know early that they will be comfortable and in loving homes can remove much of the stress they are undoubtedly feeling.

There’s plenty you should and need to be doing as a parent going through a divorce if you want to make it easier for your children, but in many instances, you have to react as events unfold. A smart way to mitigate any troubles that are sure to be on their way, you should retain the services of a family lawyer as soon as you know a divorce is on the horizon. Fair Cadora, APC and our San Diego divorce attorneys can provide truly compassionate and caring legal counsel backed by experience and client testimonials. Be sure to contact our firm today if you need help with your divorce, starting with how to tell your kids.

How to File for Divorce

Divorce is an extremely painful situation coupled with the filing requirements and court appearances can send anyone into a tailspin emotionally and financially.  So what are the steps to fil...

Different Types of Representation

What does our motto, divorce done differently, mean?  This is a question that often comes up in conversations with potential clients and the answer is quite simple… Fair Cadora provides services th...

The Dreaded Move-Away Case

Child custody litigation is some of the most emotional and costly litigation in family law for obvious reasons, namely the fact that most parents love their children more than anything and cannot b...

No Fault State and a Spouse’s Fiduciary Duty

When it comes to divorce, California is a “no fault” state which means that no matter the reason parties get a divorce, a spouse is NOT entitled to “damages” for things such as abandonment or adult...

Cooperation versus Litigation

All too often in family law proceedings, parties and their attorneys allow their emotions to control the direction the case proceeds, which always ends in the same way with the parties’ lives...

Beware the Guarantee Gremlin

Lawyers are salespeople because we sell our expertise and our time. We do not sell guarantees and you should run away from any attorney who guarantees an outcome because no matter the facts of a ca...

The Emotionally Unstable

Crazy. Nuts. Delusion. These are terms we hear everyday in our business and the reality is often much worse. Emotionally fragile people often spiral out of control and become worse and self medicat...

There is Only 1 Winner

Posted By Kevin Cadora Guess what friends? No matter what is going on in your case, you will lose. Children will be impacted, you will always pay too much support or receive too little, and propert...

The Living Nightmare

Imagine waking up to a living nightmare where everything you have built over the years and even your own children are being taken away from you. This is the reality for all our clients going throug...

The Tragic Loss of a Great Friend

On October 1, 2017 in Las Vegas Nevada at the Route 91 concert between 10:05 PM and 10:15 PM, 58 people were murdered and 546 injured by a lunatic who had no regard for anything.  One of those lost...

Request Case Evaluation

Fair Cadora Family Law Image Request A Consultation

At Fair Cadora, we understand that family law cases can be overwhelming and stressful. The attorney you choose can make or break your case. That’s why we offer case evaluations to all potential clients. We want you to have the chance to connect with us and gain your trust, without added pressure. During a case evaluation, we will review the details of your case and provide you with an honest assessment of your legal options. This allows our clients to make informed decisions about their case. We believe that offering case evaluations is an essential part of our commitment to providing high-quality legal representation to the San Diego community.