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Posted By Fair Cadora, APC

Frequently lost amongst the courtroom battles, negotiations, and other legal complications of a divorce is the emotional strain that it can place on an indirect but equally-important victim: children. Going through a divorce case can be traumatic for young children who may not understand the complexities that have led to your decision to dissolve your marriage, and as a result they can become depressed.

Therefore, it’s important to make sure you put a lot of effort into helping your child cope with your divorce. Here are a few valuable tips assisting them with this transition.

Don’t Fight in Front of Your Children

Divorces can be filled with tension and heated exchanges between you and your spouse. However, you should never expose your child to these conversations. Heated exchanges between parents can cause children to feel fear and anxiety, making it even harder for them to become comfortable with their situation. You don’t need to be best friends with your ex necessarily, but remain cordial around them when your children are present.

Allow Your Children to Communicate

Children may be unable to express their confusion, anger, or other emotions they may be feeling because they either are not allowed to or feel as though they are not allowed to. It’s important to not only allow them to express themselves, but listen to them when they do. They need to know that they’re still important and loved through this process, and that includes making them feel as though their emotions and their thoughts matter (which they absolutely should). Likewise, when they do communicate, it’s important to not sugar coat the situation, but also be sure to remain cordial; don’t bad-mouth or blame your ex for anything, as this can cause your child to create resentment.

Keep Your Word

Children can often lose trust in what their parents say during a divorce, which can cause panic and fear. It’s important when helping your children through a divorce that you stick to what you tell your child. If you tell them that you will be there to pick them up at a certain time, be there on time to do so. If you promise them a trip to the mall, take them. Things can come up, but you have to constantly remind your children that they are important to you—keeping your promises is a great way to reinforce that.

When you need assistance with your divorce case, turn to the experienced San Diego family attorneys at Fair Cadora, APC. Our team has helped numerous couples through the difficult complexities of a divorce, and provided honest and reputable counsel to help them transition into their new, separate lives. Attorney Lauren Fair has been named a Board Certified Family Law Specialist by the California Board of Legal Specialization, demonstrating an elite level of understanding and skill in this particular are of law.

Please call the firm today to schedule a consultation to discuss your options.

Posted By Fair Cadora, APC

Those looking to pursuing a divorce should definitely take a moment to review the steps of the process to help reduce the number of surprises or unexpected events on their behalf. A divorce is rarely straightforward and each case is unique, but there are a few general steps that just about everyone’s case adheres to.

Step 1: Filing a Divorce Petition

The spouse wishing to get a divorce must file a petition with the court, who then assigns a case number to it. You then serve the petition on your spouse. There is also a filing fee to start this process.

Step 2: Responding to the Petition

The spouse who is served the petition must respond using another similar form. Once this form is signed, it is filed with the court, which also requires a filing fee.

Step 3: Request Temporary Orders

Spouses who cannot support themselves or their children during the divorce process may also petition the court for a temporary order for child custody or child/spousal support by filing a “request for order.”

Step 4: Responding to Requests for Order

The spouse who is served the petition for custody or support then responds using the correct forms. They are then served notice of a hearing.

Step 5: Hearing on Request for Temporary Orders 

At this hearing, things including protective orders, custody, and preliminary spousal support, including possibly the court ordering the payment of attorney fees, are settled.

Step 6: Declarations of Disclosure

This involves a set of forms in which you declare all of your assets to the court, including community and individually-owned assets, debts, income, and expenses. Be honest here, as hiding assets is not only punishable by law, but held in poor-regard by judges.

Step 7: Formal Discoveries

These are formal requests for information from your spouse, including production of documents, interrogatories, and requests for admissions. All of this information is considered as given “under oath,” meaning any false testimony or information is punishable as perjury.

Step 8: Use of Expert Witnesses

These are not always used, but occasionally one or both spouses, or the court itself may wish to hear the testimony of an expert witness on topics, such as child custody, forensic accounting, real estate appraisal, or a vocational examiner. This will help the court award a more-fair decision on a number of topics.

Step 9: Settling Your Divorce

This is where negotiations for the major topics take place, including child support, alimony, custody, asset distribution, and more. Some couples choose to go the route of mediation, while others require more interference from courts in order to compel them to a resolution.

Step 10: The Divorce Trial

This is where the divorce comes to a completion. You will present your case before the judge and the judge will decide all issues still contested between the parties.

At Fair Cadora, APC, we can help you every step of the way through your divorce case. We have extensive experience representing clients ranging from simple, expedited divorces to highly-contested and litigious cases. We understand that your divorce is a serious event in your life, and we strive to provide all of our clients with highly-personalized service to ensure their continued well-being.

Please call the firm today to schedule a consultation to discuss your options.

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