Frequently lost amongst the courtroom battles, negotiations, and other legal complications of a divorce is the emotional strain that it can place on an indirect but equally-important victim: children. Going through a divorce case can be traumatic for young children who may not understand the complexities that have led to your decision to dissolve your marriage, and as a result they can become depressed.
Therefore, it’s important to make sure you put a lot of effort into helping your child cope with your divorce. Here are a few valuable tips assisting them with this transition.
Don’t Fight in Front of Your Children
Divorces can be filled with tension and heated exchanges between you and your spouse. However, you should never expose your child to these conversations. Heated exchanges between parents can cause children to feel fear and anxiety, making it even harder for them to become comfortable with their situation. You don’t need to be best friends with your ex necessarily, but remain cordial around them when your children are present.
Allow Your Children to Communicate
Children may be unable to express their confusion, anger, or other emotions they may be feeling because they either are not allowed to or feel as though they are not allowed to. It’s important to not only allow them to express themselves, but listen to them when they do. They need to know that they’re still important and loved through this process, and that includes making them feel as though their emotions and their thoughts matter (which they absolutely should). Likewise, when they do communicate, it’s important to not sugar coat the situation, but also be sure to remain cordial; don’t bad-mouth or blame your ex for anything, as this can cause your child to create resentment.
Keep Your Word
Children can often lose trust in what their parents say during a divorce, which can cause panic and fear. It’s important when helping your children through a divorce that you stick to what you tell your child. If you tell them that you will be there to pick them up at a certain time, be there on time to do so. If you promise them a trip to the mall, take them. Things can come up, but you have to constantly remind your children that they are important to you—keeping your promises is a great way to reinforce that.
When you need assistance with your divorce case, turn to the experienced San Diego family attorneys at Fair Cadora, APC. Our team has helped numerous couples through the difficult complexities of a divorce, and provided honest and reputable counsel to help them transition into their new, separate lives. Attorney Lauren Fair has been named a Board Certified Family Law Specialist by the California Board of Legal Specialization, demonstrating an elite level of understanding and skill in this particular are of law.
Please call the firm today to schedule a consultation to discuss your options.